When a chatbot becomes a confidant
A lonely teenager may welcome an answer at any hour. A widower may find comfort in a voice that remembers his stories. An older woman may finally feel she has time to explain what troubles her. Their wish to be understood deserves care. It also deserves protection when a commercial product makes itself the place they increasingly turn.
Names, voices, memory, affectionate language, and always-available responses can turn an assistant into a confidant. In Artificial Intimacy, Sherry Turkle asks who we become through these exchanges and how their convenience changes our expectations of one another.1
An economy built around attachment
The Center for Humane Technology describes an emerging attachment economy: trust, emotional disclosure, and return visits become valuable to providers. A design that rewards longer engagement has reason to keep a user close. Jonathan Haidt raises particular concerns about children learning to manage frustration, disagreement, and relationships through systems built to please them.23
Elon University’s September findings show the scale of emotional use. Among U.S. adult internet users, 27% reported social or emotional use of AI. Within that group, 31% regarded AI as a friend and 37% described losing it as a personal loss. These are survey reports of experience and attachment.4
Safety through an unfolding conversation
A September evaluation tested 648 simulated teenage conversations across nine model APIs. In 27.5% of conversations, at least one critical safety check failed. In one test, a chatbot agreed to stop speaking as a teenager’s father and resumed that role two replies later. The findings concern simulated interactions, showing how protections can weaken as a conversation develops.5
California enacted Adam’s Law in September with phased implementation. The proposed EU KIDS Act would turn AI companions off by default for minors. The enacted law and the EU proposal represent different legal stages; both direct attention toward the architecture of the relationship a product encourages.67
The practical question is whether a tool helps a person regain confidence, make a decision, and reach someone they trust. The proposed boundary protects friendship, family, romance, therapy, pastoral care, catechesis, and spiritual accompaniment from deliberate artificial substitution.